Let's Begin at the Beginning

This adventure aims to do nothing more than purposefully drift through the world of religion one church at a time. This is going to be a very lengthy project because there are ALOT of churches to go around (over 335,000). I will just sample the tip of the iceberg in my area deep down in the South, which alone will pretty much take up half my life.

I don't belong to any particular faith. I look at religion in general as sort of a spiritual Baskin Robbins of Mankind but with less dairy deliciousness. All those flavors! It would be a shame to just experience one your entire life. I am a zealot when it comes to Very Berry Strawberry, but my life would be filled with regret if I had never experienced Pistachio Almond (which I hated, but all the same... regret is just awful).

I was baptized Catholic as a baby which was taken extremely seriously, obviously, judging by my parents' choice of Godfather being the town drunk named Catfish. My uncle failed to show up for the blessed event, so they needed a stand in, and I imagine any good drunk would beeline for the nearest church on Sunday for some only on Sunday churchgoer charity. I don't remember a single day in the Catholic church after that because my parents never went. However, the void left by what my mother feels was Catholic snobbery was eventually filled by the good sisters and brothers of the local Jehovah's Witness congregation. Out went Christmas and other chances for Barbie's latest fashions and in came church on Tuesday night, Thursday night, and Sunday morning with a heaping side of weekly, one-on-one bible study. So my childhood was spent daydreaming about forbidden things in church and driving by affluent neighborhoods to pick the house I would live in when everyone in Marksville, Louisiana died in Armageddon except the 60 or so faithful few that went to the Kingdom Hall. When I was around 12 I decided this was awfully mean and that God a snob himself. I knew alot of nice people who unfortunately enjoyed Halloween treats and Easter Bunnies and I didn't want them to die on my account.

So, over the years I became fascinated with everyone else's religion, particularly with how many also have no problem seeing much of the world's population be hurled down into the fiery chasm of hell just because they enjoy drinking, or dancing, or coming back as a wolf when they die. Some of them I find to be unspeakably beautiful and others just unimaginably creative. This blog will chronicle my appreciation of other people's devotion. While I will never be skeptical (who am I to say who's right? I can barely judge American Idol from my couch), I can't help that I will likely find humor as I experience everything from how the church exterior may look to how quickly the tithing tray is whipped out. I'm also a little cynical by nature, but this is the way God or the Giant Spaghetti Monster made me after all. This will be an experience indeed. A religious experience.